Saturday, May 15, 2010

Headlines and punchlines


Sometimes a headline conveys the sense of an entire story. It really jumps off the page and smacks you right in the eye. Other-times you may have to read on into the first paragraph, but rarely any further than that to garner the gist of the news of the day. That's the way journalists are trained to write, and news editors are trained to edit. This technique has certainly been reinforced by the invention of Google and the other web browsers of the world whose hoards of spiders haunt the internet seeking out these juicy titbits.

One hedtline that attracted me recently was: "Daily dose of exercise can be lower"... and continuing with: "This country (Canada) is witnessing a rising tide of gluttony and sloth"... Oh my, that's a turn of phrase that conjures up a dismal image, isn't it? (Canwest's Montreal Gazette 14 May 2010). Actually on this occasion it was necessary to continue into the following paragraph to learn that the ubiquitous "they", based on an analysis of more than 500 research papers, had concluded that 30 minutes of exercise a day was adequate to maintain the typical adult in reasonably fit condition.

Perhaps my favourite headline of all time was one that appeared in the "Scotsman", (one of Scotland's two premier news papers) some 60 years ago: "The floodgates of Hell have opened"... which greeted the news that the laws of my homeland had changed, and that the pubs would in future be permitted to serve booze on Sundays. I can't help wondering ow they would have headlined the Eyjafjallajökull (how on earth do you pronounce that?) volcano eruption in Iceland, or the BP oil rig fire and subsequent oil burning on the surface of the ocean in the Gulf of Mexico. Perhaps: "The floodgates of Hell have re-opened"?

As you can probably tell after following my blogs, I have always rather fancied myself as a headline writer. That's a real job you know, and as with all jobs there are a few really talented practitioners, and others who just can't quite make the grade because of a lack of imagination, creative talent or an adequate vocabulary.

I'm off to read today's headlines on Google... even if the bad news is bound to overwhelm the good news as usual. Perhaps I'll be pleasantly surprised?

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